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Stop It Now! Dialogue

An Open Dialogue on Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Between Survivors, Family Members, Recovering Offenders & Professionals Conversations about child sexual abuse - whether they are private discussions in our homes or public discussions in the media - always seem to begin and end the same way. There's no doubt a problem exists, but also no idea what we can do about it. After all, right here in Virginia 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men have been a victim of child sexual assault. Where do we even start to address such a big issue? The answer begins with talking about the issue constructively with everyone who is affected, and the Stop It Now! dialogue is designed to do just that. It will bring together survivors, recovering sex offenders, family members, and treatment providers to offer their stories of hope and begin to create a more optimistic reality in our community where all adults understand the role they can play in stopping child sexual abuse before it starts. Indeed, this is a unique opportunity to learn from those directly affected by sexual abuse.

This event was held in Richmond in 2003, Norfolk in June 2007 and Harrisonburg in September 2007. The dialogue will be held again August 26, 2008 in Lexington, VA and September 4, 2008 in Charlottesville, VA. There is no charge to attend these events but registration is required and there is $10 no-show fee for registrants who do not attend. Register for the August 26 dialogue in Lexington, VA or the September 4 dialogue in Charlottesville, VA.

If you are interested in bringing this event to your community, be sure to subscribe to the list server to receive an announcement.

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About the Virginia Stop It Now! Campaign

In response to an objective of Sexual Violence State Plan for Virginia, a steering committee worked with VDH to decide how to implement a helpline service in Virginia. The committee then worked with a marketing firm to develop a campaign message to promote the helpline in Virginia. The campaign was piloted in the Richmond area with billboards, radio ads, bus ads and posters. Read the evaluation of the pilot campaign. In subsequent years, the billboard and radio campaign was run in the Shenandoah Valley and Southwest Virginia . In 2007 the campaign is in the Tidewater area.

Stop It Now! Billboard

Stop It Now! Posters

To order posters for display in your organization, download the order form.

Stop It Now! Radio Spots
Public Service Announcements will be aired on radio stations in the Richmond area.

Listen to Track 1 - or view the text for the radio ad, Adult to Child Helpline Call.

Listen to Track 2 - or view the text for the radio ad, Child to Child Helpline Call.

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About the Stop It Now! Helpline

The Stop It Now! Helpline was established in 1995 as a toll-free resource for individuals with questions or concerns about child sexual abuse. The helpline is available for anyone concerned about sexually inappropriate behaviors in another adult, adolescent or child or in themselves. Professional staff provide an opportunity for you or any concerned caller to gather information, talk through a situation and explore options for taking action.

All calls are confidential. The helpline is available Monday-Friday, 9:00 AM - 6:00 PM at 1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368).

Professionals working in the field of child sexual abuse prevention will answer your call. The person on the other end of the line will help you:

• Know what to watch and listen for between an adult and child if abuse is happening.
• Know the warning signs that a child has been abused.
• Learn the signs to recognize in an adult if they are or are considering abusing a child.
• Understand how to talk with someone you know who may be sexually inappropriate with a child.
• Find out the difference between healthy sexual development in children and sexually abusive behaviors.
• Talk about what you may be witnessing and help you decide if you are "over-reacting" to a situation and what may be your next step.
• Talk you through your next step if you are thinking about touching a child in a sexual way.
• Learn what kinds of help and treatment are available.
• Get referrals to resources so that everyone in the abusing situation can get the help they need.

The Stop It Now! Helpline is designed for adults concerned about the inappropriate sexual behavior of someone around them and those at risk to perpetrate sexual violence. To report a suspected case of child sexual abuse, please call Child Protective Services Hotline at 800-552-7096. The Virginia Family Violence and Sexual Assault Hotline 800-838-8238 is still the best resource for victims.

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Behaviors to Watch for When Adults Are With Children

Have you ever seen someone playing with a child and felt uncomfortable with it? Maybe you thought, "I'm just over-reacting," or, "He/She doesn't really mean that." If you are uncomfortable, but don't see these signs, be sure to trust your instincts and ask questions. Below is a list of behaviors that might be cause for concern.

Do you know an adult or older child who:

• Makes others uncomfortable by ignoring social, emotional or physical boundaries or limits?
• Refuses to let a child set any of his or her own limits? Uses teasing or belittling language to keep a child from setting a limit?
• Insists on hugging, touching, kissing, tickling, wrestling with or holding a child even when the child does not want this physical contact or attention?
• Turns to a child for emotional or physical comfort by sharing personal or private information or activities, normally shared with adults?
• Frequently points out sexual images or tells dirty or suggestive jokes with children present?
• Exposes a child to adult sexual interactions without apparent concern?
• Has secret interactions with teens or children (e.g. games, sharing drugs, alcohol, or sexual material) or spends excessive time to emailing, text messaging or calling children or youth Is overly interested in the sexuality of a particular child or teen (e.g., talks repeatedly about the child's developing body or interferes with normal teen dating)?
• Insists on or manages to spend uninterrupted time alone with a child?
  Seems "too good to be true, i.e. frequently baby sits different children for free; takes children on special outings alone; buys children gifts or gives them money for no apparent reason?
• Frequently walks in on children/teens in the bathroom?
• Allows children or teens to consistently get away with inappropriate behaviors?

If you answered "yes" to some of these questions, talk to that person. For more information and guidance about starting a conversation with someone, please call our confidential, national, toll-free Helpline (1.888.PREVENT), M-F from 9am - 6pm EST or visit our website at http://www.stopitnow.org/.

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Behavioral Warning Signs A Child May Have Been Abused

Some of these behavioral signs can show up at other stressful times in a child's life such as divorce, the death of a family member, friend or pet, or when there are problems in school, as well as when abuse is involved. Any one sign doesn't mean the child was abused, but several of them mean that you should begin asking questions.

Do you notice some of the following behaviors in children you know well?:

• Nightmares, trouble sleeping, fear of the dark, or other sleeping problems.
• Extreme fear of "monsters."
• "Spacing out" at odd times.
• Loss of appetite, or trouble eating or swallowing.
• Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, anger, or withdrawal.
• Fear of certain people or places (e.g., a child may not want to be left alone with a baby-sitter, a friend, a relative, or some other child or adult; or a child who is usually talkative and cheery may become quiet and distant when around a certain person).
• Stomach illness all of the time with no identifiable reason.
• An older child behaving like a younger child, such as bed-wetting or thumbsucking.
• Sexual activities with toys or other children, such as simulating sex with dolls or asking other children/siblings to behave sexually.
• New words for private body parts.
• Refusing to talk about a "secret" he/she has with an adult or older child.
• Talking about a new older friend.
• Suddenly having money.
• Cutting or burning herself or himself as an adolescent.

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